What I’ve read and What I’m reading
What I’ve Read
Since I feel like my life is shifting from one phase to another, I’m reading books about moving on and transition. The first book I’m reading is actually an e-book, perfect for my iPad, called The Single Woman: Sassy Survival Guide to Moving on and Letting Go. The book is written in a chick-lit style; you’re free of any psycho-babble that is too hard to understand, or in my case, I just don’t care to understand. Mandy Hale‘s tone is friendly, but a little butt-kicking. The tone your friends use when they tell you the guy/job/friend doesn’t suit you. You need to drop him/her/it.
I started following Mandy on Deborah Feldman. This young woman grew up in a very religious sect of Judaism. During her youth, she was a rebel reading forbidden books like Anne of Green Gables. (Seriously a girl after my own heart!) She felt oppressed in her environment and moved with her husband to a more liberal community in upstate New York. She then left her husband and the sect. While I personally don’t view the book (so far) as a criticism of her religious upbringing. I do see it as a person who had the courage to break free from a controlling situation and family in order to discover who she really is. Deborah, girlfriend, I’m right there with you.
The Challenge
I posted this to a listserv for children recovering from narcisstic family members. I hope it finds someone peace:
I’m really starting to “get it” as far as recovering from the N(s) in my family goes. I sometimes feel like I’m waking up from a dream after realizing how controlled I was and how often I would twist myself to prove to my N(s) that I wasn’t the person they said I was.
I could go on, and on, about how controlling my Ns are, how worthless they made me feel. However, it doesn’t matter because they dont determine who I am. I do. I a wonderful person worthy of being treated fairly, kindly, and being checked up on after I get home from a trip to the trauma ward. 
To all the people who are just realizing the trauma that their Ns but them through and are just starting on their recovery, I tell you this:
You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t fair. You deserved more. I also say your future is what you determine so make it the best. Explore the world. Find a healthy “non-biological” family if necessary. Do things that would make your N shake their heads in disbelief. Do something bold and adventurous this weekend. Remember to treat yourself kindly. That is the challenge I put forth toward myself. And to all of you. We’re not walking the recovery journey alone.